WHEN LOVE HURTS

When Love Hurts 

❤It all started beautifully like a long awaited dream finally on the path of reality with cheers and warm nods from everyone around, she felt loved, she felt on top of the world and deep in her mind she was in heaven. The truth is, she is happy and she knows it, a look into his eyes and her heart trembles with love, making her grin like a fool in love.💞

 💫She was living a dairy tale her world was really on the move, her light shone so bright, she could feel the glares of envy on her back, everything was happening just as she expected and she was grateful.

 💔Only in the twinkle of an eye, her bright world suddenly became dark, her graceful steps become pain filled, her heart broken, her hopes shattered and she felt rejected. Her knight in shiny armor has become an avenging knight of horror, all for what?... Where did she go wrong? ...What offence had she committed to deserve all she got from him?...

 👽The man she fell in love with has become a stranger, her bruise knows no bounds, and now she hid the tattooed bruises on her body parts with shame in huge piles of clothes She had no one to share with.

 👺The romantic nights have now become memories of the past and her heart ached in pain, making her feel constant aches in all parts of her being. She is lost, and guess what; it didn’t stop. 

 From just one night it became a constant vigil depending on the mood of her “Oga at the top” her world has suddenly become a horror movie like one of Robert Rodriguez’s work. 

She is still stoned by the change and what hurts more is the fact that she can’t share it with anyone. This is just one of the many brutal experiences that the female folk in our society goes through every day of their lives.

 It is sad and disheartening but let’s face it. It is happening, now let’s ask ourselves "why is it happening? " 

Facts have shown that between half and two third of the Nigerian women and child go through one form of domestic violence or the other, with reasons ranging from transferred aggression to misplaced injustice, you would agree with me that the statistics is staggering which means that six out of every ten female in Nigeria has been abused in one form or the other.

 We should ask ourselves, how did things get this way? The constant silence on the matter by the victims not only helped the perpetrators go scot free with their evil acts, it has also helped in the creation of a self built ego of this evil doers, with them believing they can always get away with their acts.

   Eniola, a thirteen years old girl staying with her married aunt at Ibadan, every time her aunt leaves for a night vigil, her aunt’s husband comes into her room to have carnal knowledge of her. This went on two years with no interruption, imagine being raped almost every Friday and you are just a teenager and every time she tries to tell her aunt, Eniola gets the beating of her life, starved for days without food and her dear Uncle rapist comes back for more. And you know what? She never got the justice she deserves. 

Eniola is married now and happy but one thing you can’t take away from her is the fact that she was abused by her aunt’s husband.

What Can we do?

 We need to revisit our cultural activities and make some corrections. Men, women and all should be more receptive and less judgmental. We should all understand that every physical or emotional hurt caused by us goes a long way in the lives of our supposed victims. Men should see women as companions, not an object to pounce on and transfer aggression. Laws should be created to help deal with unrepentant abusers instead of celebrating them as super bullies that know how to deal with women. Family is the most integral part of society, the bedrock of society. I believe in a violence free family. I believe in a zero violence society. I believe in a society where the rights of women,and  young girls are respected.

Written by.

 Cynthia Abojei